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Thursday, January 10, 2008
* i hate myself */ 3:50 AM i can't get to sleep. and now it feels like a thousand daggers piercing thru my heart. i am starting to see more and more problems with myself.. and now, i finally see why my family have always been trying to change me.. why friends never really stayed, why girls never saw me as the right one. it's because, i really dun deserve any love in the first place. i used to think that i can get whatever i want, as long as i try. but now i realised, sometimes certain things cannot be taken for granted. i thought that i've always been a good friend to most, a caring and helpful one, and ever willing to do my best to make everyone happy. but as it turned out to be, i'm just living in a world of self-denial... it's time for me to grow, to learn, and to be who i truly NEEDS to be. getting bitten once tonight is already bad enough, and i need no second reminder of the pain i suffered tonite... yet all the pain i'm going thru now, is nothing compared to yours. to all those who i had hurt before because of my ego, i'm really sorry to have done so. i'll learn how to let down my ego and learn to be less self-centred... and to the ones who had been telling me to change, i'm sorry that i hasn't lived up to expectations. in fact i almost never really did anything to change... and last but not least.. to the one who matters most.. i'm sorry for the pain i've put u thru. it's been tough on you and i know i dun deserve someone so good. but i'm gonna justify your choice and convince u tht u dun have to regret. i'll learn to understand myself, before i understand u and everyone else... i will learn to love others more than my egoistic self. and this, is definitely the most important resolution for 2008. hopefully the Open House performances will go on well... and i'll try my best to dance to the fullest, even though my mood and energy's being affected... and i won't complain, because i know i brought it upon myself this time. well done, ck. =( and now, all i want is to be rightfully and deservedly yours... for now and ever.. Superwoman --- 曹格 Early in the morning, I put breakfast at your table 一夜都没睡但我 不曾如此清醒 我早餐准备了你 爱吃的东西 这次换我等你被咖啡 的香味叫醒 想要找回每天早晨 对我微笑著的你 还能够 做些什麼代替我的歉意 总是望著我 小心翼翼顺著我呼吸 而我竟然理所当然 让你精疲力尽 You were my superwoman 安静的在身边 无条件给我 梦寐以求的温柔 But I am only human 我怎麼不懂你多寂寞 残忍的犯了错 不能失去你 Ooh—Babe--- You fought your way through the rush hour Try to make it home just for me 月光下静静靠著彼此 只求夜长一点 有多久没有好好看你 只是认定了我 无论在什麼时候回头 都有你的笑容 是我忽略了你也会有 想要哭的感觉 没有一种付出应该永远心甘情愿 再给被宠坏的男人最後一次机会 换我忍耐换我等待 不要真的弃权 (---Baby)是我把爱想得太简单 以为只要我存在就能让你取暖 心裏唯一的superwoman没有人能代替 不能想像更不能原谅这样让爱化成 灰烬 If you feel it in your heart and you understand me. STOP right where you are, everybody sing along with me. |
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Profile Born in Singapore on 11th April 1989 as Soh Chun Kiat, aka CeeKay. Currently a digital media design student in NYP. Loves photography and dance, specialises in locking. |
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